The Consequences of Playing Friends
by live2tivo
Summary: The gang plays a drinking game that leads to a surprising revelation about Mark and Roger’s past. Much better than it sounds, I promise. Review. I like reviews. Complete.


**Title: **The Consequences of Playing Friends**  
****Author: **Musical-junkie**  
****Feedback: **is like converting people over to RENThead-ism, completely satisfying.**  
****Pairing: **Mark/Roger, Collins/Angel, Joanne/Maureen**  
****Word Count: **2844 (Yes, that's right. It took me forever to type.)  
**Rating: **R (for, like _The Breakfast Club_, language)  
**Genre: **Romance/Humor**  
****Summary: **The gang plays a drinking game that leads to a surprising revelation about Mark and Roger's past.**  
****Notes: **Set in an abstract time where Collins meets Angel two years earlier and Mimi is there but never dated Roger. April never existed (explanation included within story), and Maureen and Joanne have been together since the beginning. Hey, it's my story; I can do whatever I want. Also, 'Friends' is a game we play at camp; I just turned it into a drinking game for the sake of the story. I know it's weird.**  
****Special Thanks: **To Jacky for supporting my writing (fandom and otherwise), to Lane (who likes being thanked), and to Rachel (again) for liking this idea when I told her about it a while ago, and to Greens for allowing me the opportunity to use it.**  
****Spoilers: **They sing, they tango, they moo, and they have AIDS. Didn't know, watch _RENT _and then read.**  
****Warnings: **Drinking games. Don't like, don't drink.**  
****Disclaimer: **RENT is not mine. RENT is JL's and I doubt he's going to be writing RENTdom any time soon.

The Consequences of Playing Friends

READ NOTES OR YOU WILL BE VERY CONFUSED!

Mark and Roger had no idea why everyone always hung out at their place. They never had heat (or air conditioning, depending on the season), food, or (most of the time) electricity. At least Maureen and Joanne always had food. And Collins and Angel always had heat. But no, they always had to end up at Mark and Roger's loft. Mark assumed it was because Roger rarely left and Mark himself couldn't leave without his camera and was always late ("I just had to get this _one _shot"). So there they were and there they'd stay. At least Collins always brought some form of alcohol and Joanne (despite Maureen's protests) would always bring chips and dip as a sort of "host gift", a habit that Maureen blamed on Joanne's Miss Porter's years.

Roger was messing with his guitar and Mark was setting up his camera when Maureen and Joanne arrived.

"Mark, I swear if you start filming and say that 'March 15th 1987, 2pm EST' shit again, I will break your fucking camera."

Mark smiled. "Don't have to; you just said it for me." Roger looked up to see that the camera was already rolling.

"Hello? Are you going to let us in or what?" Mark recognized that loud, semi-bossy voice.

"Just a second, Maureen." He put his camera down and went to get the door.

"Certainly took you long enough," Maureen said as she entered. "Did you have to put pants on or something?"

"Maureen!" Joanne exclaimed.

"What? All I'm saying is that we don't know what these two could be doing up here all alone."

"Maureen!"

"I'm just kidding, Pookie. Relax."

"You're so crude, Maureen."

"Why, thank you very much."

Mark watched the exchange, wishing he hadn't put his camera down. The interaction between Maureen and Joanne always made for great material.

Mark had just grabbed his camera from the table when Collins, Mimi, and Angel entered.

"Hey, Cohen, if you put that camera down every once and a while you might be able to get a girl."

"Nice to see you, too, Collins."

"So, are we going to actually do something today, or are we going to sit here and do nothing while Mark films us again?" Maureen asked.

"Hey, I could…"

"No." Mark and Roger cut Angel off in unison. Every time they were sitting around with nothing to do, Angel would offer to dress them in drag.

"One day."

"Uh, no." Mark and Roger said.

"Why don't we play a dinking game?" Mimi suggested.

"At two in the afternoon?" Joanne asked, incredulously.

"Why not? Besides, it's not like we have anything else to do."

"Yeah, and Collins _did _bring booze." Mark pointed out.

"_You _want to play a drinking game?"

"C'mon Roger, I'm not _that _prudish."

"Yes you are." The six friends laughed at Mark's expense.

"I drink."

"Yes, but you don't get drunk." Collins turned to Mimi. "What game?"

"I Never, Spin the Bottle, Quarters, Friends, Truth or Dare…"

"Wait, what's 'Friends'?" Mark asked.

"And you say you're not a prude."

"Actually, I don't know what is either." Roger admitted.

"Does _anyone _know how to play Friends?" Everyone shook their heads. "Okay, then, Mark, go get some shot glasses. Roger, get some paper and pens."

"Why do you assume I have pens and paper?"

"You're a songwriter!"

"Mark's a screenwriter!"

"Yes, but he's getting the shot glasses."

Roger reluctantly got the paper.

They all sat in a circle on the floor with a shot glass, a piece of paper, and a pen in front of each of them.

"Okay, so, here's how it works. Let's say it's my turn. I'll ask you a question like 'where do I work?', and everybody writes their answer down on their paper. If you get it wrong, you do a shot. Then the people who got it right vote on who had the worse wrong answer. The person who asked the question then gives the person with the worst answer a dare."

"That's gotta be the worst drinking game ever." Maureen complained.

"C'mon. Just a few rounds then we can play 'I Never' if you don't like it."

"Fine."

They started out with mundane questions like parent's names and birthdays. Few questions were missed and the consequences were silly. As the questions grew harder, Mark and Roger seemed unable to stump each other. Mark knew the opening line to the first song Roger ever wrote and Roger knew how much Mark had paid for his camera (nothing, it was a birthday gift). Angel, Collins, Mimi, Maureen, and Joanne watched in shock as Roger answered the question "What grade did I get on my last high school final and what subject was it in?" correctly without hesitating (83, European History).

"Okay, how did you know that?" Collins _had _to ask.

"He studied for two weeks so he could get at least an 81 so he could maintain his GPA." Roger answered without thinking twice.

"Wait, you two went to high school together?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, and middle school and most of elementary school, too." Mark replied.

"That explains a lot."

"What do you mean, Joanne?"

"I mean that you haven't answered a single one of Mark's questions wrong and he hasn't missed any of yours either."

"Yes, I have. I missed that one about…" He thought for a moment. "Wow, I guess you're right. We've been friends for too long, eh, Roger?"

Roger half-smiled and Maureen asked her next question. Roger and Mark both guessed the same wrong answer.

"Okay, since you both got it wrong, you have to kiss. That's my dare."

"What! C'mon, Maureen, that's just cruel."

"Rules say that I choose what you do, Mark and I say you have to kiss Roger. Either that or you have to let Angel dress you up in drag." Angel smiled, but she knew Roger and Mark would sleep together before they'd wear a skirt.

"Just on the cheek, right?" Roger asked Maureen to clarify.

"On the lips, unless you want to try on some cute halter tops."

"You are an evil person, Maureen."

"Aw, just do it, Cohen."

"Can it, Collins. Hand me that bottle."

"Hey! We figured out how to get Mark to drink." If looks could kill, Mimi'd be dead. Definitely.

Mark took a swig from the bottle Collins handed him as Maureen gave him the details. "At least five seconds, tongue optional, but if you do I promise not to make you wear a skirt."

"And if we don't?"

"Trust me, Roger. You don't know me well enough to avoid it."

"Just get this over with so we can move on." Joanne urged.

Roger and Mark looked at each other. _It's not like we've never done this before_. Mark's thoughts turned to when he and Roger were in 6th grade.

_They were watching television at Mark's house when Roger made a shocking announcement. Mark turned off the TV, and looked at Roger._

"_Whoa, you actually kissed Dana? When?" _

_Mark stared at his best friend as he tried to comprehend what Roger had just told him. Roger had actually kissed Dana and the closest Mark himself had come to a girl was when he learned to tango with Nannette. _

"_We were walking down the hall to class and she dropped her books. We both leaned down to pick them up, so we were just kind of bent down in the hallway and I kissed her."_

"_What was it like?"_

"_It was okay, but I accidentally bumped her forehead with my nose." Roger felt bad for lying to Mark. He hadn't kissed Dana, but needed a good excuse for giving her a huge bruise on the forehead and figured a kiss would be good._

_This statement scared Mark. If his overly confident best friend had a disastrous first kiss, odds were that Mark's would be even worse. _

"_She had to go to the nurse to get ice and now she won't talk to me? How am I supposed to get better at kissing when my only option for practice is ignoring me?"_

"_Hey, at least you _have _someone who ignores you."_

"_Aw, c'mon, Marky, all the girls ignore you." Roger ruffled Mark's hair and park pretended to punch him in the arm._

"_At least I didn't send someone to the nurse's office. Talk about a kiss of death."_

"_Yes, my kisses are to die for." _

_They both laughed. Roger was pleased at the way things were turning out. Mark had no idea that he hadn't actually kissed her. _

"_So, how do you plan to get all this practice?"_

"_Is Cindy home?"_

"_Eww." He knew Roger was only kidding, but the mental image wasn't pleasant. _

"_C'mon, Mark. You know I'd kiss _you _before I'd kiss your sister." Roger wasn't lying about that. Cindy had been lucky enough to have dated the same boy since 7th grade, right before her awkward phase that set in over the summer and for the next two years showed no signs of relenting. _

"_So, we'll be pretty much inept at kissing until we manage to find us some girlfriends."_

"_Which we won't be able to keep because we suck at kissing." Roger countered. _

"_An evil cycle."_

"_Yep."_

_The same idea flashed through both heads simultaneously and they couldn't look at each other. _

"We'd _be able to practice."_

"_What?"_

_Mark blushed, realizing that he shouldn't have said that out loud. "I was kidding. Don't worry." _

"_Okay, good." _Because that _would _be wrong. _Roger thought. _Oh, so very wrong.

"_Yeah, so wanna watch TV or something?" _

_Roger shook his head. He didn't want to watch TV. He wanted to do the only thing that he figured would get these _ideas _out of his head. The ideas that practicing on Mark wouldn't be all that bad. _

"_Hey, Mark?"_

"_Yeah, Rog?"_

"_Do _you _want to practice?"_

_Mark had to think about that. Was Roger just kidding or was he serious? Did he want his first kiss to come from his best friend, his very _male _best friend? "Are you serious?"_

"_Yeah." And he was. He needed to get these feelings out of his head. _

"_I don't think that's a very good idea, Roger. I mean I haven't even kissed a _girl _yet." That _was _true, but Mark was really trying to convince himself by this point. _

"_C'mon, Marky, it won't even count." _

"_Okay, but only if it doesn't count. _And _not a word to anybody."_

"_Like I want it going around that I kissed my nerdy best friend."_

_It was awkward. They weren't sure what they were doing and it showed as their lips touched._

"_Yeah," Roger said when they pulled away. "We definitely need to practice."_

Not a word of what had happened that day had been spoken since, but as they leaned in closer to each other, Roger whispered, "Remember 6th grade". Mark smiled.

The kiss lasted longer than 5 seconds and there was definitely some tongue involved. _So we don't have to wear dresses_ Mark rationalized.

Collins, Maureen, and Angel applauded as they pulled away. "Happy now?"

"Most definitely. You two have had some practice."

Roger and Mark looked at each other with matching terrified expressions.

"What? We've never done that before!" Mark sputtered.

"I was kidding. You need to lighten up a little."

The game didn't last much longer. Collins, Angel, and Mimi had a Life Support meeting and Maureen and Joanne wanted to get home. Mark and Roger were left alone.

"So…" Mark began.

"Haven't done that in a while."

"What? Played a drinking game or had all of our friends over? Because we've definitely done both at least twice in the past week."

"You know what I'm talking about, _Marky_."

Mark froze. Roger hadn't called him 'Marky' since 6th grade. It was always "Mark", "Cohen", or "Hey you with the camera melded to your cranium."

"What did you just call me?"

"Oh, so you _do _know what I was talking about. Just checking."

"I'm not going to forget my first kiss, Roger."

"I said it didn't count."

"It counted, Roger, and you know it."

Roger didn't say anything, and they left it at that.

The next week, everybody was over at Mark and Roger's again. This time they played "I Never". Once again, Mimi started.

"I've never kissed a member of the opposite sex without being forced to." She knew she would get Collins, Angel, Joanne, and Maureen with that one, but was surprised when Mark and Roger both did shots as well.

"When was this?" Maureen asked.

"Sixth grade." They answered simultaneously before realizing they had just given it away.

Maureen didn't pick up on what they meant, but Angel did.

"Wait, you two made out in 6th grade?"

"I never said that." Mark replied defensively.

"Whoa, screw the game. What the fuck were you two up to in 6th grade?"

Roger sighed. "Just forget it, Maureen. It's a long story."

"We've got time." Collins prompted.

Mark looked over at Roger, who nodded. Mark told the basic story, leaving out the fact they hadn't only practiced once that day.

"That was your long story?" Joanne asked.

"The basic idea, yeah."

"Wait, so your first kiss was with Roger?"

"I never said that, Collins."

"But you implied it."

"It didn't count." Roger piped in.

"That totally counts, Roger."

"No, it doesn't, Maureen."

"Yes it does."

"No, because if it did then that would mean that my first…"

"Your first what?"

"Just drop it, Mark"

"No. What?"

"Hey, Maureen. I've got that thing you wanted to borrow in my apartment downstairs." Mimi sensed that Mark and Roger needed to talk privately.

"Oh yeah. Joanne, you wanna come too?"

"I'll go." Angel said.

"Me, too." They'd all gotten Mimi's less than subtle hint and rushed out of the loft.

"You didn't really kiss Dana, did you?"

Roger sighed in defeat. "No, I whacked my nose on her forehead before I could."

"So that means when we…"

"Yeah."

"Oh my God."

"That's why I didn't tell you before."

Mark was pacing now. Back and forth. Back and forth.

"I need a drink."

"It's not that big of a deal, Mark."

"Not that big of a deal? Roger, you didn't even tell me that was your first kiss! Do you know how freaked out I was about us doing that?"

"Why? It didn't mean anything."

"Sure, and that's why you've neglected to mention that to me!"

"C'mon, Mark. It was almost ten years ago."

"And you've never found a single moment to tell me!"

"You're reading _way_ too much into this."

"Am I? You tell me everything, I tell you everything. It's been that way since we were in _second grade_, Roger. And now I'm finding out that maybe you _don't _tell me everything. What else have you been hiding from me Roger?"

"Nothing. I swear. That's the only thing I've ever lied to you about. Nothing else."

"Then why? Why tell me everything else but that? Why is the fact that you didn't really kiss Dana the only thing you've ever kept from me."

Roger should've known this would come out eventually. He should have just kept his mouth shut or told Mark when it happened. "Fucked if I know, Mark."

"But you _do _know, Roger. You're just not telling me."

"Fine. Do you want to know the truth? Well, here's the whole fucking truth. A couple of weeks ago there was this really hot chick at one of my gigs named April. She was all over me and I turned her down because of you. I have these dreams about that day. Incessant dreams. We're back in 6th grade, 'practicing' on your couch. I thought that when we did that I could get some of these fucking thoughts out of my head, but no. Is that what you wanted to hear, Mark? Did you want to hear that your face pops into my head every fucking time I'm fooling around? How I see you when I write all those love songs? How I can't seem to get over that shit we did ten years ago? How I can't stop fucking thinking about you, period? Is that what you wanted to hear, Mark? Is it?"

Mark needed to sit down. "All I wanted to know was why you told me you kissed Dana."

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me, Mark. I just blurted out all that shit and all you wanted to know was why I told you I fucking kissed Dana!"

"You _do _realize you've just used the word 'fucking' at least seven times in the past three minutes."

"You _do _realize that I don't fucking care?"

"Eight."

"Shut the fuck up, Mark."

"Nine."

Since Roger apparently wasn't eloquent enough to shut Mark up by yelling at him, he did the next best thing.

"What are you doing, Roger?"

"I think you know very fucking well what I'm doing, _Marky_."

"Ten."

Collins, Angel, Maureen, Mimi, and Joanne returned five minutes later to find that Roger had found an effective method of getting Mark to shut up. A _very _effective method.


End file.
